14th Feb, it’s Valentine’s Day, the fixed annual celebration of love and friendship, marked by cute couples, eager elementary school students — and critics who deride its commercialization. But it also happens to be Ash Wednesday, the solemn day of fasting and reflection that signals the start of Christianity’s most penitent season and marks the start of the 40 days Lanten period.
For many people, going on a romantic date is a cause of great stress. This year, Valentine Day is celebrated on the same day as Ash Ash Wednesday. The last time that happened was in 2018, and it will happen again in 2029.
For those who consider faith an important part of their lives, the coincidence of having this Valentine’s Day, a commercial holiday, on Ash Wednesday, a religious occasion, may pose a dilemma.
Can you celebrate Valentine’s Day on Ash Wednesday?
Worshippers aged 18-59 are expected to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday as well as only eat one meal during the day, depending on the recommendations of their church.
While some observers of Ash Wednesday may be more lenient in their practices than others, those who follow the traditional guidelines of fasting on the holiday and attending service to get their ashes may want to rethink their Valentine’s Day dinner dates.
What is Ash Wednesday?
Ash Wednesday is the first day of the Catholic Lenten calendar. The name is representative of the Catholic tradition to have their foreheads marked with ashes during a special service. They are also encouraged to repent their sins, go to confession and devote themselves to God.
These ashes are typically derived from leftover Palm Sunday palms and can be mixed with holy water or chrism oil. Ash Wednesday occurs six and a half weeks before Easter.
What Happens On Ash Wednesday?
Not all Christians observe Ash Wednesday. For those who do, they typically attend an Ash Wednesday church service, where a priest or other minister draws a cross — or at least what is intended to look like one — of ashes on their forehead. The distribution of ashes underscores human mortality, among other themes.
It’s an obligatory day of fasting and abstinence for Catholics. The abstinence restrictions are continued on Fridays during Lent, which is the period of repentance and penance leading up to Holy Week observances — most significantly their belief in the crucifixion of Jesus and his resurrection from the dead.
Can Catholics Celebrate Valentine’s Day On Ash Wednesday?
In addition to the candy heart and chocolate-fueled secular celebrations, Feb. 14 is also the Feast of St. Valentine. But Ash Wednesday with its fasting and abstinence requirements is far more significant and should be prioritized, said Catholic Bishop Richard Henning of Providence, Rhode Island, in the diocese’s official newspaper. His predecessor shared a similar message in 2018.
“Ash Wednesday is the much higher value and deserves the full measure of our devotion,” he said. “I ask with all respect that we maintain the unique importance of Ash Wednesday. If you would like to wine and dine your Valentine, please do so on the Tuesday before. February 13 is Mardi Gras, ‘Fat Tuesday,’ a perfect day to feast and celebrate!”
If you are not a religious person, Valentine’s Day will be just the same. However, those who care about their religion may wonder: Is it a red flag to go on a romantic date with the Ash Wednesday cross on your forehead?
“I guess it depends on your definition of a red flag,” said Dr. Cristen DeSantis, a psychologist based in Los Angeles. “If you go on the date, and you have the Ash Wednesday Cross. And your date thinks that’s a red flag. That’s information you’re going to want ahead of time because it sounds like if you’re showing up that way, your faith is important to you.”
